On Equal Terms Read online

  ‘The table is booked,’ Howard reminded her softly.

  ‘So!’ said Kate, turning away. ‘Who cares?’

  ‘It’s supposed to be a family dinner, Kate. Sebastian will be there,’ Clare said, hoping to entice her. But Kate remained stubborn.

  ‘A family dinner!’ she scoffed, glaring at Clare. ‘Matt and I are going to a disco.’

  ‘Can’t you go another night?’ Clare almost pleaded.

  ‘Why should I?’ she snapped back.

  ‘Please, Kate, just for tonight. You can bring Matthew,’ pleaded Clare again, but Kate was resolute.

  ‘No, I don’t want to.’

  She went out that night with Matt, determined to show everyone just how grown-up she was. She arrived back very late and was slightly drunk. She couldn’t stop giggling even when Sebastian came out, grabbing her roughly and nearly dragging her inside. He was furious!

  ‘You’ve been drinking!’ he said, quite astonished, his eyes narrowing on her dishevelled appearance. ‘What else have you been up to?’ he growled.

  ‘Why don’t you find yourself a girlfriend, Sebastian, instead of spying on me?’ she retorted. Truthfully, she had hated Matt’s rough hands on her, greedy and out of control. She had pushed him away, feeling frightened and annoyed, but she wasn’t about to tell Sebastian that. She wanted to appear grownup, mature. ‘We were enjoying ourselves, if you must know. You don’t know what you’re missing,’ she laughed, and she hurried upstairs, not waiting to hear his reply.

  She regretted that now. It had been futile from the start; no one she loved ever seemed to care for her. She remembered how desolate she had felt when her father’s new bride had taken all his attention. Still, she had been determined at that point to be part of her father’s life, even if it meant joining the family firm, but when her father had made Sebastian a joint partner in his business that plan had seemed hopeless too. Kate’s teeth sank into her bottom lip as she struggled to force her hurt back deep inside.

  ‘You seem nervous, Kate?’ Sebastian queried, but Kate didn’t answer. She was back in control now, all her emotions hidden deep away in the dark, safe corners of her mind where no one could reach them.

  ‘Do I?’ she replied after a pause, with a fixed smile, her voice surprisingly bright, despite the disturbing shadows in her heart.

  ‘Yes, the thought of playing dutiful daughter face to face, no doubt.’

  ‘No doubt,’ Kate agreed quickly, stemming her desire to argue with Sebastian. She shrugged off the feeling, and the subject, with an indifferent air but Sebastian had not finished yet

  ‘Well, you’d better come up with an Oscarwinning performance—your father is still a very ill man,’ he reminded her.

  ‘You think I don’t know? Really, Sebastian…’ she began to protest. His bad opinion of her went too far sometimes and she felt provoked into defending herself at least

  ‘Cut the righteous indignation, Kate,’ Sebastian said, ignoring the stung look on her face. ‘Your wide-eyed, innocent look doesn’t fool me. I know you too well.’

  ‘People change,’ cited Kate, knowing that her words were wasted, and still fighting to try and prove how much she had altered—how much she regretted the past God knew how many times she had tried to make amends. She just couldn’t understand her father’s behaviour towards her—it was so out of character.

  ‘Do they?’ Sebastian challenged, through her thoughts, the certainty in his voice showing that he thought it was an impossibility. It had always been the same between them—a constant battle of wits—and she was growing tired of it now.

  ‘What’s the point of trying to talk to you?’ she mumbled, fighting the tension and anger that he could arouse in her with such ease. She was tired of him, fed up with always arguing—couldn’t they ever be friends?

  ‘None at all,’ he agreed, flashing her a smile of what Kate interpreted as triumph.

  ‘I don’t see why you had to come with me. Surely you have more important things to do?’ Kate snapped, surprised he had taken the time off from work to accompany her, and troubled because of the unsettling effect he had on her. She wanted so much to show her parents the change in her, but Sebastian seemed ready to goad her at any moment, destroying all her plans for a happy reunion. She noticed an uncharacteristic hesitation before he spoke. He studied her carefully, aware of the fine tension between them. Kate felt forced to meet his gaze head-on to make him realise that in one respect she had changed: she was no longer in awe of him. She now wanted to face him as an equal.

  ‘I’m coming to keep an eye on you,’ he admitted honestly. ‘Because I know sooner or later this roleplaying will become tiresome and you’ll revert back to your usual self-centred self.’

  ‘What do you mean by that?’ demanded Kate.

  ‘Come off it, Kate. It’s all an act; look at that flat—those horrid clothes. I suppose you were hoping that Howard would find you living there with that man so you could pile on the guilt.’

  ‘It wasn’t like that,’ she denied hotly. What exactly did he think was going on between her and Terry? Surely he couldn’t think they were anything other than friends? ‘It’s all I could afford,’ Kate protested, hating his assumptions and his unwillingness to listen to her.

  ‘Spare me the details,’ he said, waving his hand in dismissal. ‘I’m really not that interested.’ He pulled his briefcase up on to his lap and flipped it open. Kate stared at him, stung deeply by the things he had said. He always managed to make her feel so bad and for some reason he seemed to take a perverse delight in it.

  ‘I’ve work to do. It’s a long flight and I’ve these papers to go through before I reach Kenya. You’d best read a magazine or something.’ He didn’t raise his head from his papers. Kate was incensed; her anger was like a palpable mass, rising within her.

  ‘Just who the hell do you think you’re talking to?’ she demanded, her anger forcing her voice to a louder than usual pitch, and Sebastian’s head came up so quickly that he hit it hard on the open lid of his case.

  Serves him right, thought Kate, enjoying the look of pain that flickered across his face as he looked at her. She did not give him a chance to reply before she launched into her attack.

  ‘How dare you dismiss me like that?’ she threw at him, her eyes glittering with a silvery brightness. ‘“‘Read a magazine!”’’ She repeated his words, injecting the full contempt she felt for his idea into her tone. ‘Women have come out of the kitchen, Sebastian. Why don’t you leave the cave and come and join us?’

  Kate was breathless when she had finished. Her heart was racing and her cheeks flushed, but enough was enough. After all, it was her father’s business as well and she still had a sizeable proportion of shares. She waited, wondering what his response would be, fully expecting some cutting remark that would silence her.

  ‘I’m sorry, Kate. That was very patronising of me,’ Sebastian admitted, and Kate’s eyes grew wide in amazement as she saw a flash of admiration in his eyes. ‘There’s no need to look so surprised. I was in the wrong. I never had any problems with admitting when I’ve been wrong,’ he added, though Kate noted that his apology subtly changed to a gibe at her. He turned his attention back to his papers, a smile teasing the corners of his mouth.

  ‘The business is in Kenya?’ asked Kate, unable to keep the surprise from her voice. She still followed the company’s plans through the financial papers and had read nothing of a new venture. She watched Sebastian’s reaction. His body was suddenly still, quiet, as if he was reluctant to answer her.

  ‘Yes, it is.’ His voice was guarded, his tone measured, and Kate knew she would have to ask more questions; he wasn’t about to volunteer any information.

  ‘And? Come on, Sebastian,’ she cajoled, a thread of anxiety wrapping around her heart as she tried to comprehend his cautiousness. The company had only ever had contracts in Europe. This was a new direction completely.

  ‘It’s a new venture, a departure from our usual affairs, but I felt i
t was time we began to diversify,’ he explained as he pulled another sheaf of papers from his case.

  Kate felt the familiar wave of jealousy stir within her. She tried hard to expel the doubts that began to creep into her mind, putting them down to her own personal jealousies.

  ‘What exactly is it?’ she questioned, part of her always longing to be part of the company her father had built, to know what was going on.

  ‘It’s a new project in conjunction with a company already based there. It’s not skilled work and the machinery they use does need updating, but I consider it a worthwhile investment,’ he informed her as he passed her a copy of his report. His hand touched hers briefly, as lightly as a butterfly’s wing, but still Kate’s stomach flipped and she pulled her hand back as if she had been pierced by the sharpest of thorns.

  ‘And what does Daddy think?’ she asked, her eyes flicking to the papers to cover the depth of emotion that his slight touch had caused.

  ‘I haven’t been troubling him with work.’

  Kate’s head shot back up and she looked at him closely. It seemed impossible to think her father would not be involved; he took his work far too seriously.

  ‘So he doesn’t know?’ There was an accusation in her tone. The old argument that he wanted to take over the company had been raised even though nothing had been said. They both remembered clearly, so it did not go unnoticed—she felt Sebastian inwardly flinch at her words.

  ‘Yes, of course he knows,’ he snapped back, irritated by her familiar lack of trust. ‘I’m just not about to worry him over details; besides, it’s early days yet,’ he explained. ‘That’s why I have to check over these figures before tomorrow’s meeting; then I might have something constructive to tell your father.’

  ‘Can I see? I do know how to read a report,’ she said, trying to remain indifferent to his obvious doubts.

  ‘Yes, yes, of course you do. I did expect you to join us,’ he replied.

  ‘I wasn’t offered a partnership. Remember?’ she said stiffly as she took the rest of the papers out of his hands.

  ‘Still as bitter as ever, Kate?’ Sebastian queried. He seemed unperturbed by her outburst. ‘You were eighteen at the time, hardly ready to take on the responsibility of a company partnership.’

  The truth of his words pierced deep into Kate’s mind, forcing her to reconsider. She had found it hard enough working in a small office, but she wasn’t yet prepared to admit that to him.

  ‘Besides,’ he continued, gently now, as if he was aware of the fact that his words were touching a nerve, ‘at that age you should be out enjoying yourself with people of your own age, not stuck in some smoky boardroom fighting for survival in a very competitive business.’

  ‘But that’s what I wanted to do,’ protested Kate. She had wanted to be with her father, to be part of his life. She had been tired of being pushed away; had been desperate for his love and attention, which had been denied her for so long.

  ‘Did you really?’ Sebastian probed again, his strong hand dropping on to her arm and spreading a warmth throughout her body. Kate swallowed the painful lump in her throat and turned away to concentrate on the papers.

  ‘Are you sure these figures are right?’ she questioned him blandly.

  ‘Yes—at least, those were the figures given to me by the Kenya office. Why? Are there some discrepancies?’ Steel had re-entered Sebastian’s tone and he drew closer to look at the spreadsheets, his musky cologne teasing at Kate’s nostrils and weakening her defences against him.

  ‘No, not exactly,’ Kate faltered, trying to concentrate while becoming increasingly aware of the slight pressure on her shoulder as Sebastian leaned even further in.

  ‘Come on, Kate,’ his voice cajoled, his mouth curling in a teasing smile that made her stomach flip. ‘Have you spotted something?’ He lowered his head over the spreadsheets, studying them with care. Kate shifted in her chair, sliding to one side in self-protection.

  ‘The estimated payroll seems to be higher than it should be.’

  ‘Does it?’ Sebastian’s head turned swiftly, his face only inches away from Kate’s, and she could feel his warm breath heating her already glowing cheeks. ‘How do you know?’ he questioned, a frown of interest flickering across his brow.

  Kate faltered again. Not yet—she didn’t want him to know yet; he would only ridicule her chosen career. She knew the pay for her charity work was poor but the rewards it brought went far beyond the material. She really felt as though she was doing something worthwhile at last There had been a time when Sebastian had shared those ideals. He too had wanted to change the world. But that was all in the past. He had changed—grown even more cold and cynical.

  ‘Kenya is a relatively poor country, though it fared better than most after it became independent,’ Kate began coolly, keeping her secret safe with the change of direction.

  ‘I know.’

  ‘Corruption is widespread. Nepotism on a large scale is the accepted norm. I think I’d tread very carefully—’

  ‘How come you’re such an expert?’ Sebastian cut in, an amused grin spreading across his face, and Kate returned his smile with ease. She could actually hear the admiration in his voice.

  ‘I read a lot,’ she answered briefly, hoping such an evasive answer would be enough. ‘Are you returning to England once your business is complete?’ she then asked, steering the conversation on to more neutral ground.

  ‘No, I’ll probably take a short break. Louisa will expect it,’ he informed her.

  ‘Louisa?’ Kate echoed, surprising herself that her voice was so calm when her insides were churning with a full cocktail of emotions as more memories flooded back.

  ‘You remember Louisa?’ Sebastian asked squarely. How could Kate forget her—and Sebastian knew that, didn’t he? ‘When Anne eloped with Frank Myers from Accounts, your father was left high and dry. Luckily enough, Louisa stepped into the breach and she has been there ever since,’ he explained.

  His response was too pat and that irritated Kate. The very mention of Louisa annoyed her even more when she realised that the girl had become such an integral part of the business that she, Kate, had been denied. There was a lengthy pause as Kate struggled to control her inner feelings and present a façade of indifference.

  ‘How long ago was that?’ she asked, intrigued by the changes that had taken place since her departure.

  ‘Shortly after you left, I think,’ he answered, quite uninterested. ‘Ah, lunch! I’m starved.’ He put his papers away and turned his attention to his meal. Kate remained transfixed. She hadn’t expected Louisa to be still around and working for her father’s company. Surely Sebastian wasn’t serious about her? The thought hurt more than Kate wanted to admit even to herself.

  ‘So you’re still seeing Louisa?’ she asked, trying to sound as casual as possible, hopefully indifferent Quickly Sebastian fixed a smile on his face, but she noticed it did not extend to his eyes.

  ‘Was I ever?’ he said through mouthfuls. ‘This isn’t bad for airline food,’ he added, to encourage her to eat.

  Kate sighed inwardly. She knew it was pointless to question him any further—one, because she knew Sebastian would remain evasive, and two, because she did not want to reveal too much interest in his personal life. What had it got to do with her? she questioned herself, and already a niggling doubt was forming in the recesses of her mind, warning her to take care, that she would never be completely over Sebastian.

  She was glad when the plane finally touched down. It was great to be back on the ground after such a long flight. The temperature outside was high and the air hot and stifling. A car was waiting for them and within minutes their luggage was loaded and they were driving along the bumpy roads to the family villa. The road was alive with people, and vibrant colours added to the joyous atmosphere. Shops lined both sides of the road and an assortment of local handicrafts hung from every area; bright woven rugs and distinctive animal carvings all jostled beside rolls and rolls of beaut
ifully printed cloths. Children waved as they drove past, shouting, ‘Jambo, jambo,’ the Swahili for ‘welcome’, and ran for a short time after the car in the hope of a few coins or sweets being tossed to them.

  ‘It’s as beautiful as ever,’ whispered Kate as she absorbed the atmosphere, enjoying the colourful scenes that passed before her eyes. ‘Like paradise,’ she added as an afterthought just as the clear blue coastline came into view.

  ‘Let’s hope there’s no serpent in the garden this time,’ remarked Sebastian, his eyes remaining firmly fixed on the road ahead.

  ‘I suppose you’re referring to me.’ Kate felt her temper rising once more and tried to control it.

  ‘If the cap fits…’ began Sebastian, but he didn’t bother to finish the well-known phrase as he heard Kate’s sudden intake of breath. A low white bungalow had come into view. Kate felt a tightness in her chest at the sight of the family villa where she had spent so many happy holidays. She felt a hot sting of unshed tears sear the back of her eyes, filling them with the glint of sorrow. Sebastian drew the car to a smooth halt and Kate sat immobile as she took in the fresh scent of the flowers, the glorious garden that was filled with bright bougainvillaea, fragrant frangipani and the vivid blooms of the hibiscus. Suddenly she felt afraid. Sebastian turned but she was barely aware of his action till he touched her arm, breaking into her reverie. She turned and looked at him, her eyes wide with fear and’ softened by the tears. She didn’t speak; emotion momentarily robbed her of the power of speech. For an unbearably long second there was only silence, then Sebastian placed his hand comfortingly over hers. His long fingers closed around hers till her small hand was lost in his strong hold. She looked at him, her pulse quickening at the tender look that rose in the dark depths of his eyes.

  ‘I’m scared, Sebastian,’ she admitted, thinking of the reunion she was about to face. ‘I don’t think I can go through with it.’

  ‘You’ll be all right,’ he reassured her, his fingers applying a slight pressure to hers as he spoke, as if trying to share his own strength with her. A faint tremor quivered through Kate at the excitement his touch ignited in her. He released her fingers slowly, allowing Kate time to steady her racing pulse.